23. General update.

Yup.

Usually these posts get some 'filler type' title, but today I thought I'd write a more in depth commentary on what is happening.

First off, lets talk Youtube.

 I have been doing a good amount of research into existing YouTube channels/ show formats (credit where it is due, my Girlfriend and her brother have been a huge help here).
That may just sound like I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos; which it has in part, but it is actually really important to understand what qualities I and others find engaging in a video/ regular show. Needless to say Bias is an issue here... but I think that is what adds character to a show.
I have a good idea of how I want it run. Think Game Grump and Yogscast and you are in the right ballpark.

 However, delays are happening.
My current computer just cannot hack games or anything stressful for a sustained period of time.
This means no recording games, no editing and thus, no shows.
Due to the editing problem I can't even invest time in shows that have nothing to do with computer games.

Bummer.
I do have the funds to invest in a new machine. I'm just on the fence as to what I want and need in it.

Second topic: Board games

 As mentioned above I cannot advance with video reviews/ playthroughs or any of that jazz.

However, I have been increasingly active in this area, so in the meantime I will be starting a Board Game review piece here.
Nothing overly serious, just my own personal opinions of Games I play. Expect heavy amounts of personal Bias.

 In addition, my own board game design attempts have stalled; this time by my own design.
I have a general concept, which I'm happy with.
I have a set of rules which when clarified I think are well thought out and relatively simple.
Overall I think the game works and makes sense.

  The problem I have is deciding if it is actually fun to play.
This requires play testers; something my friends have been reluctant to do.
So until I can find a select group I trust to run initial play tests I think I'll invest my time in researching techniques, theories and concepts.

Here is a sneak peak of the design; (The first concept; since very outdated)



General concept - Space race with ship to ship and hand to hand combat.
Since this picture I have done a lot more, however I'm not comfortable with showing it all just yet.
there is still a long way to go.

Third Topic; Writing.
 In short, no. I haven't been writing.
Will I still write? Yes.
When? Who knows.
Fourth; Everything else.

I've been trying to get into gaming again. Which by and large is going well. The aforementioned  computer issue is a bit of a drag, but by and large everything seems to be going well. Hooray!

I applied to a teacher training course again. We'll see if my references can sort their shit out this year!

Oh, and I've been doing a hell of a lot of work on my hobby stuff recently.
Check it out at The Underhive Hero, or over at my WiP log on The Bolter and Chainsword.

Thanks for wasting your time reading this jumble of thoughts.

Peace

-DH-

22. The Grey dawn.

 The capital G is because it is a name...

Which should be your first clue as to what this post is about.

  50 Shades of Grey has changed the literary world. A vast swath of 'romance' novels have hit the shelves since its release, and there has been a vast rise of people getting into reading (primarily women in this case, but not exclusively).

  My first assertion is that I am all for that. More people need to read. Graucho Marx once said 'I television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.'
People are not like Marx in modern times.The TV has become the beacon of entertainment.
Fine. Television is a valid form of entertainment... but it shouldn't be the only source of entertainment. Mix it up; read, watch, play, socialise...
But the sheer number of people who don't read at all in lieu of TV is staggering.

I digress, this is not the point I decided to write about.

This is;

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/g/groucho_marx.html#tWietoLhjS7P0b0z.99

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/g/groucho_marx.html#tWietoLhjS7P0b0z.99

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/g/groucho_marx.html#tWietoLhjS7P0b0z.99

This is a 'romance' novel. Read it. Go on. Read it.
This is not romance. Nor is this literature.

If you can't be bothered to read it I'll give you a stand out quote; 'Cupping her cheeks to hold her still, Max rocked his hips, fucking her eager little mouth at his pace.'

This is Porn, plain and simple.

And guess what? I'm fine with that too. I have no problem with Pornography what so ever.
So long as people accept that it isn't real, then they know it has no place in their real life, unless it is legal and consenting.

So what is my problem exactly?

Simple. This is called literature.
FHM/Nuts/Zoo is now top shelf and covered. It is too Pornographic in nature to be seen on the shelf.
I'd argue that while this isn't as visually 'lewd' as those magazines, it is considerably more explicit.

So my argument is simple; these books are Porn. Not literature.
If FHM is top shelf, this should be too.
The idea of top self products is to keep them out of the eye view and grasp of children. These 'romance' novels are always middle of the shelf where anyone can see and pick up and read them.
Awkward conversation ensues...

So either they are both inappropriate, or neither are.

I'm not saying don't read them; reading more is good.
But please, stop trying to hide behind the literature mantle.
Just accept that you like Porn as much as everyone else; albeit in a different format.

-DH-

21. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or rather, the easiest.

   Yesterday I had a long day off from work. I set myself a target of being super productive.
I intended to work on my board game concepts, organise my YouTube network foundations (so I am ready to go when the project starts) and to look into buying a new computer.

Did any of it get done?
Of course not.

 I was just so overwhelmed by... well... everything!

YouTube has become such a complex entity with the Google+ additions.
I was lost in a sea of technological insanity. I roughly figured it out, but not enough to do anything worthwhile.

A for my gaming concepts...
Brick wall.

No clarity, no direction, no ideas. Nothing.
Call it whatever you want I just could not get the ball rolling.

After a really long talk with my girlfriend I decided to shelve them for now.
At least until I can think of a way to move forward with them.

She did suggest something, which, at first, I dismissed almost out of hand.
Work with something you know.

It didn't make sense at the time.
I blame the pure dour cloud hanging over my head on the day; but I simply couldn't see a way of expanding on the games I was looking at in front of me;
Munkin already has many, many iterations and expansions.
Civilization, Battlestar, Arkham Horror and the like all are vastly complex and have multiple expansions.
The complexity was over my head and the artistic creativity was out of my league in terms of knowledge and understanding.
I could not think of a way to add to either, thematically, mechanically or visually.

Today it hit me.
I was never supposed to.

Maybe she didn't know it at the time, but my girlfriends advice was spot on.
Work with something you know.

The game didn't have to be a board game/card game or RPG's.

Just a game.

Once I had that in my head numerous ideas sprouted onto paper, ready to be made into concept board/card games or RPG's.
Yeah, sure. These ideas may be academic; a learning experience that never actually get made.
But that is the point. I need that experience, to know what I'm comfortable with, what I need to learn and what works.

Today is a good day.

-DH-

20. Step by Step...

...I am getting there.

Or so I would like to believe.

So much for not letting things get to me.
I hate my job. It is plain and simple.
Undervalued, overworked. Underpaid, unappreciated.

I start work early in the morning. 6am. That means being up at 5.
I'm not the best at sleeping. I get around 4-5 hours.

So when they ask me to come two hours early? Really?
Fuck.
Off.

Let me break it down for you.

1)
I take relative pride in my work.
I don't like doing a job badly, I don't like leaving things half done.
But I will. I am not paid enough to care that much.
I also don't enjoy my job anywhere near enough to go that far out of my way to do extra time.
There is no over time pay, just regular pay.

2)
'Think of your bonus.'
This mantra pisses me off. I do not work for my bonus. I work for the money I get each month.
Now, I get that management think differently... I mean, why wouldn't you?
My bonus = around £200 after tax. Which is pretty nice.
But we already hit the maximum it can get for the year 4 months ago.

My bosses bonus = 22% of his salary. So around £9900, before tax.
I can see why you'd work towards that.

I don't give a fuck about your bonus, and honestly, I don't really care about mine.
If I didn't get one, I'd still work the same job.

3)
'We really need to straighten out the store.'
Why? I agree it needs sorting out, but if you did your job properly in the first place, it wouldn't be in this mess.
Simple.
I am not fixing your fuck ups for you.


I think I'm about done.
-DH-

19. Cracking on.

A while back I spoke of re-purposing this blog.
In a way that is what I am doing, but in another it is not.

In fact, this blog retains its original function whatever I use it for.
It is what I am willing to share with the world.

And right now that is apathy.

I hate the market economy system.
I hate Capitalism.
I hate that both these bourgeoisie systems of power mean I have to work a job I hate, everyday.

But you know what...
You work to live, not live to work.

'You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.' - Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club .

Fight Club quotes may well be over used, but it remains my favourite film of all time.
It puts forward the most valid of all points, in a way so dramatised that you cannot stand up and take notice.

You are not any of this stuff. Let it go. Let that what which does not matter, slide.

In other words, stop wasting your time doing shit you don't want to do, and start doing what you want to do.

So fuck apathy.
It is time to start living again.


Which brings me on to my next point.

While I look for a new job; one I actually want to do, I am going to do some other things that I want to do.

Firstly, I am going to start developing my own games.
These wont be computer games.
I do not possess the time, money or skills to take on such an endeavour.

No, these will be board games, card games and role playing games.

If I fail, oh well. But if I don't, then I get to be a part of something I truly enjoy doing. Win

Second. I am going to get a new computer and start making videos.
While at University, me and my friend always played Minecraft, and talked about making videos of us playing; to share the creations we make and the funny moments we had playing the game.
That way they could share those times with us.

So yeah. Gaming videos.
Nothing original except ourselves.

Might try and incorporate the first point into it and have some table top games involved.

And finally;
I have often thought it would be awesome to run a hobby store.
That is the the idea in its entity.
These are all lofty (ish) goals.
And yeah, I'll have to work some shitty job while I put my time and effort into these projects which may never go anywhere.

So what? I'll be doing something I enjoy.

In the meantime I can get on with life.

-DH-

18. Apathy and Gaming.

 Yeah, no post in a long, long time.
Recently I've been doing a fair amount of modelling. Check out my progress here - http://underhivehero.blogspot.co.uk/

Needless to say I've lost my appetite for contesting issues. If something pop's up I'll write about it, but sticking true to my promise, I wont post unless I feel I can get behind what I'm writing 100%.

So for now this is being reformatted to incorporate other interests.

Currently that is computer games.
I've been on the hunt for old games in charity shops and going through some of my old games/games I've never got round to playing.

I'll most likely end up posting predominantly about this until something gets me riled up.

Until then.
Peace - DH-



 

17. Would you like to know more?

I guess this would be considered another filler post, seeing as I have nothing interesting to write about.

Recently I've had an apathetic attitude towards... well, life I guess.

   It all started a couple of weeks back. It was my birthday, and despite assurances that folk would turn out and make it a weekend to remember, it wasn't. It was a lacklustre affair; only a couple of people I would consider my closest friends came, and of those that didn't, few offered any sort of an apology, and in most cases their excuses were flimsy at best.
   Afterwards, any attempt at communication with some has just been met by a brick wall of acknowledgement; just about registering the attempt, but brushing it off with little, or no, attempt of conversation.
  Needless to say, the past few weeks have passed with an overwhelming feeling of isolation.
When things like this happen, I generally do something stupid.
I stumbled across this poem and given my current state of mind, it feels quite relevant towards a specific person.

Imperfect Perfection

I dreamt that I'd tell you,
  I dreamt I'd convince you.
I dreamt you would love me
and I too would love you.
I dreamt of perfection,
a dream so romantic.
I dreamt you would smile
and carefully panic.
I dreamt you would hug me.
  I dreamt we would both see,
together we're better -
  I dreamt you weren't choosy.
I dreamt up the ways
of how I could tell you.
I dreamt up bouquets
and a time and place too.
I dreamt that I told you.
  I dreamt that I could do.
I dreamt that it happened.
  I dreamt of a breakthrough.

Instead i told you
at 3am drunk on Facebook
and i took it back the next morning

(Found here - http://hellopoetry.com/poem/imperfect-perfection-1)

It pretty much sums up how I think, and then what I actually do.
Not this time.
I'm sick of making excuses. Of making the effort and being thrown back. Of being the instigator.

I do dream of this. Of all of it.
But I'm done with putting myself out there, just to be left in the cold.
It's your turn to start something.

Or not. I'm fine with it either way.

-DH-

Filler, filler nights!

 If you have read my previous post you will have noticed I had started a 6-a-side football team.
The team is called 'Associated Squirrels,' and is mainly made up of co-workers, with a little help from a few friends and members of the Sunday League team I'm in (Sporting Bearwood). Generally we play every Tuesday; as such we have a game tonight, and there will be no possibility of any meaningful updates. So in place of a proper update I give you a match report from our second game (the game before tonight game). Enjoy!

Associated Squirrels Match Report - October 16 2012

Associated Squirrels Vs Bartley Boys 8:20pm Kick Off.
   This was to be the second outing for the Squirrels. Although they had been defeated by Inter Me Lambretta B the previous week, the team were feeling positive. However, a few last minute drop outs as well as some of the team being absent, left the team severely under strength. The captain however was determined to play this game. Subsequently a few players were drafted in to make up for the absentees (My Thanks to Ant and Sanjay for filling in), in addition Edward Ross joined the team for the night (After having already played a game that very night). With the gaps filled the game was on. They were to play Bartley Boys; a team yet to play a competitive match in the League.
   The first half began. Unfortunately, the squirrels were slow off the mark. The almost completely different set up from last week took its toll on their organisation and movement, and it came as no surprise when the Bartley boys went one, and then two up. The squirrels had little to no opportunities, while the Bartley boys had ripped apart the Squirrels defence, but they had been wasteful in front of goal; shooting high, wide and not very handsome on numerous occasions and for all their creative play the Bartley boys couldn't increase their lead, as the Squirrels started to gel and settle into the game with some good defensive play from Ant and Harry in defence.
   At halftime the team got together and went over the flaws in their play, and how best to exploit the opposition. It would seem that this period of reflection galvanised the team, as in the second half they were a different team. As the half kicked off the Squirrels immediately took the initiative with some good passing and movement. Jamal was replaced by Edward to add some creativity in midfield. The fresh legs seemed to be the straw that broke the Camel's back; a cheeky lofted ball from Ed to Luke put the forward through as he smashed it into the top corner. The next Squirrels goal was the result of some quality build up play; Sanjay, Harry and Edward passing it from side to side, before playing Luke through. who calmly slotted it home.
   The momentum seemed to be with the Squirrels, but they were not the only ones hungry for the win. The Bartley boys pushed forward at every opportunity and asking questions of the Squirrels defence. Eventually a powerful shot from distance curled in the air leaving the keeper stranded putting the Bartley Boys in the lead once again.
  The squirrels answered in kind. Edward dropped into defence with Ste, while Harry pushed forward to add to the attacking power. Ed gave way for Jamal, while Sanjay dropped to defence. It was this growing attacking intent that pinned the Bartley Boys back in their half.  It was in this period of domination that Luke got his, and the squirrels, third goal. A lovely rolled ball out from the Keeper found Luke's feet, despite the battling defender at his back. A deft turn left the challenger on the floor and Luke through on goal. The Bartley Boys hesitated claiming Luke had hauled their man to the floor; Luke however did no such thing and smashed the ball home to level the score. The Bartley boys rued not playing to the whistle as the Squirrels celebrated.
  The were to be more twists and turns however. A poor Clarence from Harry out of the squirrels defence gave the opposition the opportunity to shoot, netting the Bartley boys fourth. It was a soft goal to give away. The same was true for the next Bartley Boys goal. A lofted ball played from the back to the forward could have been dealt with better, but at this point Ed was on his last legs and the pace of the ball beat him, the resultant shot was a powerful one at the near post, which found its way into the back of the net, when the keeper should have had it covered.

The Game ended, Associated Squirrels 3 - 5 Bartley Boys.
  The Squirrels will feel disappointed by the loss. The two mistakes at the end would seem to have cost them the game; however, a team always makes mistakes. In reality the two goals conceded at the beginning, while the squirrels were still getting into their stride, were the far more telling. If these goal could have been avoided it would have been a comfortable win for the Squirrels. Alas, with the team roster fluctuating greatly the Squirrels are struggling to gel.
However, the next outing against Pascendale on the 30th should see an almost full team roster, and therefore will be a fairer test of the team. Pascendale are top of the league however, and it could be a very challenging fixture.
 
Team Sheet + M.V.P.
Harry,
Jamal,
Luke (MVP - 3 goals),
Ste,
Edward (Drafted in),
Sanjay (Drafted in),
Ant (Drafted in).

16. The Village Idiots Vs. Associated Squirrels

  Hello. S'been far too long as usual, but that should all be changing soon. I am making myself commit to some projects to get myself back into blogging. -DH-

  One of these projects will be the (almost forgotten) clan: The Village Idiots.
My brother was talking to me about some idea of playing a game over twitter; you basically let popular opinion decide the next course of action. Kind of like a choose your own adventure. I'm pretty sure we're going ahead with that idea. I've added the links to all the clan stuff in the 'Recommended' section if you fancy checking it out (top right of the page).

   More importantly it gave me an idea; what if I blogged about a play through of a game/ some games, but wrote about it from the first person? Like a captain's log. Lots of potential.
 I should probably explain my great absence. Not like there is anything fantastical about it. I just haven't been interested in writing anything for a while. Between work, other commitments and generally feeling like shit I just haven't been able to bring myself to write about anything worthwhile.

  There are no new developments on the political front; The Conservatives are still being reckless and short-sighted in power, and labour (whom are the only logical alternative) are not providing enough for voters to invest in terms of policy commitments.   

  I recently started up a six-a-side football team with a few co-workers and a couple of friends. We've played a couple of games, and lost everyone! It's the taking part that counts right?

Anyways that's all for now. In the meantime, here is the match report from our first game, which was a while back. Enjoy and PEACE!

Associated Squirrels Match report - October 9 2012.

Associated Squirrels Vs Inter Me Lambretta 8:20pm Kick off.
   The first outing of any team in a new league is always likely to be a difficult one, and for Associated Squirrels; a team that had never played together before,  it was always going to be an uphill battle, especially against an experienced side.
  As the first half kicked off these were the telling factors. The Squirrels looked lively going forward, but disjointed. For all their attacking intent there was a clear contrast in quality in the final third, and communication at the back between the two sides. This was clear for all to see when Inter broke free and struck their first blow on the counter attack making them a goal to the good in the first 10 minutes.
   The second goal was the result of quality build up play from Inter; a period on controlled build up play and clinical passes resulted in a 3 on 2 situation at the back and a fizzing final shot that left the keeper for dead. This goal started the fight back for the Squirrels, with some good holding play from Luke and Marc, unfortunately the shots went wide. Harry managed to fire in a driven pass across the box to Jamal, only to find the shot bounce out of play after some excellent defensive work from the Inter defender.
  This brief period of quality was cut short however by an Inter penalty. A defensive error lead to Reece scrambling to retrieve a wayward ball, and he moved just outside his area. The resulting spot kick tucked away in the bottom right hand corner of the goal bringing the deficit to three.
  After a brief team discussion the second half started. The best way to describe it would be to use the old cliche 'a game of two halves.'
   The communication and build up play was of a much higher quality from the squirrels; Dave, Ste; an 11th hour inclusion to the side all providing much better service for Marc and Luke to fasten on to. Marc had a few shots blaze just wide, though the best chances fell to Luke; the first the result a brilliant ball played though the two defenders gave him opportunity to shoot. The shot; taken with the outside of his right boot, curled past the keeper and dashed across the goal, only to find the post and go wide.
  The second standout chance was the result of some clever build up play from Ste; playing the ball through to Marc who then chipped the ball on to Luke. As Luke turned to run forward, the Inter defender got all of the man and none of the ball, but despite this, Luke kept on his feet and was through on goal. Unfortunately the referee called the play back, much to the dismay of the Squirrels.
  It was then that the final nail was put into the coffin. After squandering some good chances and being denied on several occasions by Reece, an Inter forward shrugged off the Squirrels defence to play in his team mate. With just the keeper to beat Inter forward calmly switched feet and slotted it past Reece into the bottom right hand corner. The keeper might feel unlucky, but the finish was excellent.
    
   Despite being beaten , the squirrels can take heart from their performance. Their marked improvement in the second half showed that there was quality to be had in the team, all that missing was the synchronisation a team gains from playing together, as well as a lack of numbers.

The game ended, Associated Squirrels 0 - 4 Inter Me Lambretta.
Team Sheet + Most Valuable Player.
Harry,
Reece,
Luke,
Marc,
Dave,
Jamal,
Ste - MVP (Drafted in to make up for numbers).

 -DH-

15. Tax, Teaching and Timbre

It has been far too long, I apologise.

    I have been preoccupied with getting my life in order; starting work, looking to move forward on my chosen career path and other distractions. That is not to say I've not had a moment to spare, far from it. There has been many a time in the past month where I've had nothing constructive to do and instead of finding purpose, I've whittled away these hours of opportunity playing Minecraft, Call of Duty or Fifa.
   I am currently in one of those frames of time. Sitting at my desk with nothing especially constructive to do. So I thought I'd pick up where I left off and forge ahead with my blog and other hobbies.



We shall start with something briefly contentious.
    Recently in the news Jimmy Carr has been outed by the Prime Minster, David Cameron, as a 'tax dodger' for being part of the k2 tax scheme. If you are unfamiliar with these events Google it, or alternatively watch this video on the bbc news website.
Essentially the PM has said that taking part in such scheme is morally wrong, and I tend to agree with him. Yet here begins the hypocrisy. While being slightly sensationalist in nature, the daily mirror stumbles upon the core problem with the PM's 'moral' argument. While chastising Jimmy Carr for is 'moral failings,' the PM has not publicly criticised those considered his allies, friends, family and colleagues, whom a large majority are using similar tax avoidance techniques such as paying oneself dividends instead of a fixed, and thus taxable, salary. (To see more details read here - http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/jimmy-carr-tax-row-turns-905663).
Whether or not you agree with the 'moral' argument in this case is irrelevant. The simple truth is that you cannot in this case have a rule or law set down and then not apply it to all who operate under it. It is hard to avoid sounding partisan/anti conservative when I say this is classic Conservative-in-government behaviour. If we want to strive for fairness, honesty, transparency and equality, then these exemptions simply cannot be tolerated.

  Moving away from politics and back to the informal ramblings and recordings of my life, I have started to steam ahead with my plans to become a teacher. I have finally finished my Degree and got my results (a 2:1 overall! :D) and now it is time for me to begin the next step. This essentially involves me applying for positions as volunteer teaching assistant/ observing lessons. Not only will I gain invaluable experience by doing so, but also an insight into teaching strategies.
  This is all well and good, but I cannot stress enough how strange it feels talking to people, asking for these positions, when the last time I spoke to them was when I was like 8 years old or something. It is pretty weird to say the least :P

Finally we come to the end of this post... well, near the end.
I wanted to write a review of a gig I went to a while back, yet I held back. I mentioned this in my last blog post; personal reasons, not wanting to sound like a pretentious dick and so on...
Anyway, that's all passed now and yet there is a new problem.
Time.
It has been a fair while since then, so I'm going to put it quite bluntly.
They were good. Well worth going to see.
It is pretty hard to describe what Sunrise Over Europe are like; this isn't exactly helped by the somewhat confusing description prior to the gig being 'Balkan folk' amongst other odd genre's. The easiest way for me to convey what the gig was like, and how I felt, is for you to just go and see them. They curate an event at the Flapper and Firkin in Birmingham every month called Watchifres. Basically they gather good local bands and showcase them to a guaranteed audience, before rounding off the evening with their own set. S'pretty good. Follow the embedded links to find out more, or check out my blog roll list in the top right corner of the blog.

  Another 'gig' I went to was a show by the Dead Poets. The show is a story explaining how a Grime MC and a Professional poet came together to try to mix genre's; fusing rap with poetry, and their subsequent '___' (Success? Failure? Your choice I guess). The show was funny and exceptionally clever, it is definitely worth checking out one of their shows if you can make it, or alternatively you can order some their merchandise from their website. The best way to get a taste for what it is like is to check them out on YouTube. I'd be surprised if you haven't already seen this; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tp4wEewrQdU
It is a rap battle between Blizzard and Mark Grist; a former teacher and the former poet laureate of Peterborough. It is a quality vid, and I cannot stress enough how much you need this in your life.

  That is it for now. I've updated my Bolter and Chainsword blog with a little snippet about my Sisters of Battle, but my war gaming has been put temporarily on hold until the release of the 6th edition of Warhammer 40,000. So stay tuned.

Inabizzle
-DH-